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Positive Reasons for Arguing

It’s easy to argue about the way things should be done at Christmas. Each partner having grown up with different ways of celebrating Xmas. Even deciding on the best time to open presents can create conflict. Christmas frustrations can boil over. Have you argued over the Christmas schedule and/or process?

Xmas arguing

Arguing is good news

Often one person dominates the relationship and sets the rules over Christmas. Over time, this can cause stress to the other person, and they can resent their partner. By pretending conflict isn’t there will make it appear that the relationship is working, however the couple may be growing apart.

Conflict is positive

A test of the relationship strength at Christmas, is being able to manage conflict together. Having respect for each other is the most important factor in a healthy relationship. Here’s 5 tips to help turn conflict into a positive experience:

  1. We all have a right to our own opinions. Write it on a post-it and stick it somewhere, as this sets a positive mindset in any conflict.
  2. Each side must build a road towards mutual understanding, by hearing the other person and being understood by the person.
  3. Keep it simple and work out what are the actual differences (stick to the facts).
  4. Be willing to compromise in a conflict, as this is not only the best way for resolution, but also gives a marker point.
  5. It’s important to recognise the achievements after the conflict is resolved. Appreciating that the conflict was handled in a good way allows the relationship to go from strength to strength.

Experts reckon that half of adults agree that arguments are a natural and normal part of relationships. The most productive arguments occur between more confrontational people. This may be because conflict provides an immediate release of tension, which enables both parties to deal with their feelings and become closer.

Individuals with high levels of intellectual curiosity can feel more comfortable sharing feelings during arguments, which can lead to better outcomes. Those who are selfless tend to have honest and open channels of communication with their loved ones, which can help the argument to be resolved quickly.

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Date: 12 December 2022 by Max Robinson