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Caught a Cheating Partner

Catching a partner having an affair happens. However unpleasant the content and details you need to locate the facts. Both men and women are equally capable of cheating. This post will not take sides, but it believes that every relationship should find a way back to happier times. If your partner is having an affair, what should you do?

Caught a cheat

The cheat detective

All cheating partners change their behaviour in small ways, if having an affair. They may:

  1. Change in intimacy or affection levels.
  2. Be over-protective of their phone content (calls, texts etc.).
  3. Offer suspicious internet use.
  4. Changes in the work routine.
  5. Changes in grooming habits.

Action stations

Yes, it is distressing to discover that your partner is having or has had an affair. Here are practical steps to cope with it:

  • Give yourself some time. Seek support from trusted friends, family members or talk to trained relationship counsellor.
  • Talk to your partner. Accept the painful feelings and ask questions so you can assess exactly what has happened.
  • Avoid cutting in on what your partner is saying. Avoid shouting due to the shock and upset.
  • Ask your partner to tell you the truth, as recovery after an affair is always worse if lies are told.
  • Try to focus on the facts. Do not dwell on the why reasons. 
  • Avoid the blame game of yourself and/or your partner. You can never be responsible for your partner’s choices.
  • Take time to think about what you want to happen next.

Life is complicated when there are children, but this does not stop people from having affairs. Humans are frail in their decision making, so affairs happen in happy relationships as well as relationships in trouble. If your partner truly regrets what has happened and is willing to end the affair and you are both prepared to find a way back, then the relationship can be saved.

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Date: 19 July 2021 by max robinson