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Death of a parent

Each day, we see the number of covid-deaths as a statistic. Many deaths are elderly parents leaving children to cope with the sad news. There is no one-way for families to deal with their grief. However, a death can bring people together, but it can also create tension. What would you do if a parent died?


We are all going to die

Death creates many feelings that include shock, numbness, regret, guilt and anger. People find their mood swings around and sad feeling appear when least expected. This can create confusion and distress. A death of a parent can make adults feel like a child, and a difficult relationship with a parent, can create a chasm that seems impossible to fix.

How to support yourself?

  1. Talk to someone over the phone, the internet or via social media. Often family or friends can help or talk to a faith or spiritual leader.
  2. Find ways to remember them and keep the parent part of your life. Keep a few special possessions or create a memory box or album of pictures.
  3. Plan for future anniversaries, as key dates can be difficult. Think in advance how best to manage Mother’s Day or a Birthday.

Helping someone after their parent dies?

  • Try to stay in contact and let them know that you are thinking about them. If someone has lost an elderly parent, try not to say things like it’s a relief they are no longer suffering. Better to say that you cannot imagine the hole that she/he will have left. If you need anything, let me know.
  • Allow them to discuss their feelings in an open way about their parent. Talking can be one of the most helpful things after someone dies.
  • Be there for important dates and make a note of significant dates like birthdays or the anniversary of the death. Let them know you are thinking of them.

Although the death of a parent is a loss, most pass away peacefully from old age. For others, the death is unexpected and a shock for all concerned. There is no right way to grieve, and everyone experiences bereavement differently. It is best not to focus on the things you cannot change, but instead focus your time and energy into helping yourself feel better.

Visit at  or call the UK call centre 0333 323 0098 for more information.

Important: If you are feeling overwhelmed by death of a parent, then seek practical help from the relevant charities or speak to your GP.



Date: 25 January 2021 by max robinson